Sta.sh
Dear grief:
You strangled me
As I snuggled into your hugs
I remember your joy
Toying with my lungs
Dear hate:
I remember the excitement
The bruises you left
Told me to "look at the concept"
As you sneered at me, you never left
Oh I smiled as you burned my flesh
There I go thinking of the past, it's dead
Here I go feeling no peace, just dread
You'll never get to break me
Emotion's ran me deep
They had prevented me from sleep
I looked elsewhere ignoring them
And yet the emotions tried to brush my lips again
I want to tell you, my sweet emotions,
I used to be yours
The past is, the past
And little by little, I don't know you anymore
Dear Pain:
I remember how you buckled me
The ground felt so heavenly
Your needle pierced me deep
You held on tight
I waited on you; you never gave me the time
Dear contentment:
I remember the dead silence
The hard stop, as everything slipped
And suddenly all was balanced
The nothingness ringed
Your silence made me scream
There I go thinking of the past, it's all dead
Where did my peace go, there's nothing but dread
Dear Emotions:
Remember the time
You all shamed me, leading me
Pulling me in different directions
And I'll be damned, if I let it happen again
I turn my back, let you settle down
No little children will haunt my Town
I look at you one by one, you all see
I won't let you ever control me
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Loved it very much.
Will have to read it few more times to sink in.
look that song up
They prevent me from sleep
I look elsewhere ignoring them
And yet the emotions brushed my lips again'
Personally, I think all that stanza weakens the 'you're not going to break me line'...it's a powerful line, which I feel would have more emphasis if the rest if the stanza was either separate or not there.
That being said, it's a powerful and emotive poem. I loved your opening paragraph about snuggling into your lungs. Brilliant writing there!
They had prevented me from sleep
I looked elsewhere ignoring them
And yet the emotions tried to brush my lips again'
I still don't like that bit quoted above...it just doesn't fit for me and it still weakens the 'You're not going to break me line'
It's just my opinion of course. If you like it, keep it. Overall the poem still does its job